The last school day of 2012 not just marked the end of academic year but also the end of my teaching days in xSx.
My official last days with xSx was during the two weeks where teachers were required to go back to pack/clear stuff from 2012 and to pack/prepare stuff for 2013.
After I done my part to clear my things and getting my classroom ready for the handover, I helped with the school resource and also some admin work.
My last day with them also happened be on their staff bonding dinner so I thank God I ended and left on a high note.
I’m glad that even till today, I’m still in close contact with Principal Tan and colleagues. And somehow a little yet to accept the fact the I’m not a teacher in xSx already.
This is something that surprised the friends I shared with - I actually didn’t submit resignation letter. Seriously I didn’t even prepare in the first place cause somehow I know Principal Tan will not accept.
She doesn’t want to take this as “resignation” but rather on “sabbatical leave”. Putting all the offers and extend she went to keep me, she actually still placed me on the payroll for the month of Dec and even make sure I got my bonus.
That is why “shouldn’t have quit before you find one if not income will stop” or “you should quit only when you get your bonus if not wasted” have never been my concern.
Somehow I just have the faith in Principal Tan that not only she wont shortchange me but she will fight for me even if anyone in management object.
She is really very kind. She also offered me “part-time job” that if I cant find a job when school starts, Im always welcome back at xSx and work till I find one.
This is something I didn’t really share too.
MxE will be setting up their very own preschools in the years to come, gonna be a big thing in this industry!
And I actually went for the interview.
It was in the newspaper and think it attracted many. Also heard as requirements were higher and stricter, not many actually pass the 1st and get on to the 2nd interview.
I went for the first interview, not a formal one though as actually the closing date for entire process had been over. And not just that, I actually succeeded the first and was told to get ready for the second.
Reason for me to still get interview despite being closed and for everything to run well?
All cause of the recommendation of Principal Tan who even drove and accompanied me to the interview.
She had offers and plans but no doubts she also concerns and all.
But all in all, I actually gave up the offer in the end.
Ever since my departure from xSs, I have been receiving msgs from Principal Tan, Vice-Principal OL, my mentor Mrs O and Z Laoshi. They will check on me and to ask how am I coping. They reminded me that if I cant adapt, I can always come back to xSx.
Principal Tan msged me a lot, especially during first week of school - to check on me, to ask how’s my new school, how’s new principal, how’s colleagues, how’s children etc.
There will also be days where she will msg me to let me know I’m remembered by her or I was in her prayer that morning
From the offers and means to keep me in xSx… From the Dec pay to bonus… From recommendating me for interview… From msges after msges…
I’m totally overwhelmed by her love.
So touched by the many love gestures of Principal Tan.
Not forgetting my other colleagues.
(hehe! still refused to use "ex-colleagues")
I’m loved. I'm blessed.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
to stay or to leave
Decision was probably made official in last Nov and “battle of mind” started even earlier.
But I have been controlling for the longest time and finally I can make known and blog it down, this unforgettable journey.
Beside my colleagues, I didn't share with anyone else.. not my parents (till the very last minute), not my leaders who I feel safe to share with or not even to Em who I feel comfortable in sharing.
Probably I just wasn't ready for the "Why?", the "How?", the "When?"
Seriously the “cannot tell anyone”, the “not ready to share” were bad. Just felt terrible going through alone, especially on days where I left school in teary eyes or where thoughts flooded my mind.
Still I thank God for being with me, for watching over me!
The whole journey had been verrrrrrry emotionally and mentally draining.
I first started sharing in parable in “Tough Weeks” entry.
Out of the kindergartens I been to, being in xSx has been the best - the Principal, the colleagues, the children, the environment and the culture.
No doubt it is a busy, very busy kindergarten but it had been one where I’m being exposed to many things and even had experiences of peer sharing with teachers and principals from other kindergartens.
It had been a place where my mind challenged, faith tested and commitment stretched.
But there was a season in my life last year where I felt tired, very tired.
Not just physical I guess. Due to school? Due to church commitment?
Just school alone, I felt the heaviness of work.
The expectations? The work load? The demands?
The visitation? The spiritual “requirement”?
Not wanting to drag down the team which is always going forward strong, and apparently will be stronger for the next two years and in preparation due to Spark - I started to think whether should I stay on. Should I commit another year? Will I be able to run without complaining?
It was a major mental battle as is not easy leaving.
But after much consideration, I decided to leave or at least treat it as a break. I made know my decision and shared with Principal Tan my fears and my worries.
She didn’t accept and she was very nice, she gave me many offers like taking just PN form class so work load and visitation will be lesser.
To cut the looooooooooong story short, MANY things happened along the way. Good encounters, doubts, bad incidents, break down, misunderstandings, doubt cleared, misunderstanding cleared, stronger bond established etc.
In conclusion, my decision was final - to leave xSx.
It had never been an easy decision and even till now, I will still think to myself whether did I make the right decision.
And that was also when the mental and emotional battles started.
There were days I cried in the Principal office, day I broke down in front of my mentor and Laoshi (it was their first time seeing me that way) and not forgetting days walking out of the school with teary eyes.
Whether it was the process or the decision made, it was never easy.
To be continued...
ps: dont worry for me, the fact that I'm blogging means I'm ok or at least getting better =)
But I have been controlling for the longest time and finally I can make known and blog it down, this unforgettable journey.
Beside my colleagues, I didn't share with anyone else.. not my parents (till the very last minute), not my leaders who I feel safe to share with or not even to Em who I feel comfortable in sharing.
Probably I just wasn't ready for the "Why?", the "How?", the "When?"
Seriously the “cannot tell anyone”, the “not ready to share” were bad. Just felt terrible going through alone, especially on days where I left school in teary eyes or where thoughts flooded my mind.
Still I thank God for being with me, for watching over me!
The whole journey had been verrrrrrry emotionally and mentally draining.
I first started sharing in parable in “Tough Weeks” entry.
Out of the kindergartens I been to, being in xSx has been the best - the Principal, the colleagues, the children, the environment and the culture.
No doubt it is a busy, very busy kindergarten but it had been one where I’m being exposed to many things and even had experiences of peer sharing with teachers and principals from other kindergartens.
It had been a place where my mind challenged, faith tested and commitment stretched.
But there was a season in my life last year where I felt tired, very tired.
Not just physical I guess. Due to school? Due to church commitment?
Just school alone, I felt the heaviness of work.
The expectations? The work load? The demands?
The visitation? The spiritual “requirement”?
Not wanting to drag down the team which is always going forward strong, and apparently will be stronger for the next two years and in preparation due to Spark - I started to think whether should I stay on. Should I commit another year? Will I be able to run without complaining?
It was a major mental battle as is not easy leaving.
But after much consideration, I decided to leave or at least treat it as a break. I made know my decision and shared with Principal Tan my fears and my worries.
She didn’t accept and she was very nice, she gave me many offers like taking just PN form class so work load and visitation will be lesser.
To cut the looooooooooong story short, MANY things happened along the way. Good encounters, doubts, bad incidents, break down, misunderstandings, doubt cleared, misunderstanding cleared, stronger bond established etc.
In conclusion, my decision was final - to leave xSx.
It had never been an easy decision and even till now, I will still think to myself whether did I make the right decision.
And that was also when the mental and emotional battles started.
There were days I cried in the Principal office, day I broke down in front of my mentor and Laoshi (it was their first time seeing me that way) and not forgetting days walking out of the school with teary eyes.
Whether it was the process or the decision made, it was never easy.
To be continued...
ps: dont worry for me, the fact that I'm blogging means I'm ok or at least getting better =)
Saturday, January 19, 2013
FIRST
Ending the blog year is easy which I did with a thanksgiving post.
But it took me a while to decide how to kick off the new year of blog.
How about some Mathematics?
This 2013...
It will be my 15th year in City Harvest Church… No regrets
Entering into my 14th year in JAMs… Seriously, gave my youth to them
Probably into 8-9th year in ministry cg... Passed the “7years itch"
Unofficially and officially, this will be my 10th year in preschool field…
If standard allows, it is my desire to go for many more years.
Sound like a random post, a random start…
Just find that age and energy are really catching up… Haha!
But it took me a while to decide how to kick off the new year of blog.
How about some Mathematics?
This 2013...
It will be my 15th year in City Harvest Church… No regrets
Entering into my 14th year in JAMs… Seriously, gave my youth to them
Probably into 8-9th year in ministry cg... Passed the “7years itch"
Unofficially and officially, this will be my 10th year in preschool field…
If standard allows, it is my desire to go for many more years.
Sound like a random post, a random start…
Just find that age and energy are really catching up… Haha!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
