once bitten twice shy

Fully understand this idiom after an incident on Sunday.

At the last stop during JAMs fetching, as usually, I went down to carry Little M who was on his wheelchair.
Was stretched a little but I still managed to lift him off his wheelchair.

Unlike the past few times where our driver will stop his bus very near to the bus-stop where Little M and his granny will board, this time he happened to stop a distance away.
Hence the step I got to take increased, from bus stop ground, it became road-floor up to bus so with the height increased = more strength

And the nightmare that I always fear the most HAPPENED!
I lost my strength while going up the first step and there… I fell on the bus stairs, with Little M still in my hands.

At the point of time, more than worrying about the pain on my leg and thigh, I was more worried “what if I don’t have strength to pick ourselves up?!” And of course to make sure I cling on Little M and not let him go. 
 
Thank God with the use of ALL my energy, I picked myself up and placed him on the bus seat.
Whew~~~ Thank God he didn't hurt himself. 

With this fall, I found three bruises on my leg and worse of all, my lower back hurt. Friends suggested going to Chinese physician but seriously, I was afraid so decided to monitor and rest first.

After consulting a friend-therapist and looking through website, felt it was ok to monitor first and may not be a serious problem unless… …

And for the next two days, I put on “salonpas” and was very cautious in my movements and sleeping posture etc. I also refrained myself from carrying heavy stuff. 
Thank God the pain went off, just left a little "sour sour" feeling.

Little M seriously has gained a lot of weight. 
Unlike probably some others, Little M totally has no strength on his legs, that's why he cant walk even with support but need to be fully carried. 
Because of this, I'm so fearful if I ever let go him and he fall totally.

With all these in mind and the fear of making worse to my back, spoken to Pst to go ahead with Plan B. 
Till I find myself a male helper, this got to be the best arrangement. 
Personally, I really dont dare to carry him anymore. 

-_-