ok yes or no

Recently one of my friends dropped me a msg “Was just thinking about you. How are you?”

Without any hesitation, I replied with a good sign and that I’m fine!

As I slow myself down, I started to think “Am I really ok?”

Guess there are just certain things that I choose to keep it to myself?
Or probably not everyone I’m comfortable to share with?

Solitude

At least once or twice a week, I will make time to go for coffee.
Guess more than the coffee, I simply enjoy the doing nothing and just watch people walk by - especially after a tiring day at work. 

But of course the coffee taste sweeter when have it with friends.

Marvellous Mar

Times flies!!! A quarter of the year just ended!
Here some highlights of the month of March:
 
2 Mar
Wedding of my “grandson”, Ah Guo & Peijing.
9 Mar
Wedding of Jianwei & Chloe..
He is my CHEC classmate and she used to be a JAMs worker.
17 Mar
Wedding of Rono & Venny.

A big CONGRATULATION to all the newly-wed!!! 
Have a blissful marriage!

10 Mar
Princess Annabelle’s baby shower.
Happy 1st Month little princess!

There was also one week of holiday where out of 5days, we were activated for 4days. Actually almost all 5days were needed till “someone” voiced out. Hehe!

Jill Jill was also in Singapore during that period.
We met up for casual meals and also celebrated her belated birthday.
Not forgetting ended it with a lovely prezzie from Em and I.

23 & 24 Mar
“I am a Giver” @ JAMs

24 Mar
Hensa’s bdae celebration @ Spanish restaurant

Side-track. Probably due to the increase of people, personally feel fellowship with kakis feels different now. 
Whether is it the addition of two being the partner of the “original” kakis or the addition of another. Group is bigger, table is longer, the arrival of the different ones getting later and leaving earlier too.
More celebrations now too as month-break in Feb has filled with not one but two birthdays.

30 & 31 Mar
“Because You Give” Easter weekend 

10

It has not been easy, especially the first few weeks but thank God I managed to complete the 10 weeks of school in the first term.

Now “a break” for 1 week before going for another 10 weeks.

Joyful Jan & Fabulous Feb

Jan in 2013 kicked off with me starting work in a new kindergarten.

The first three days were “interesting”.
I had to welcome the children despite not having a fully-ready classroom or even a complete name list. This will never happen in xSs… Opps, cannot compare! =p

A small kindergarten. Class size small too.
Different culture. Different environment. 
Different style of doing things. A little relax in certain way.

Really grateful that throughout the transition, God was with me.
Not forgetting friends and my ex colleagues who were there for me too!

JAMs kicked off with the very first service of the year!
Cheers to many greater works and breakthroughs in 2013! 

Not forgetting “JAMs Appreciation”! 

Feb in 2013 kicked of with the birth of long-awaited Baby Annabelle. 

Sooooooo happy for Papa Sa & Mama Na!!!
I witnessed the many stages of their lives - from being just BC & BH to getting into potential BGR to official in relationship to facing many challenges to getting married and to now promoted to daddy and mummy. Enjoy parenthood, guys!

And the month ended with Pst Lily’s birthday celebration! 

MC

Seem like a “trend” for me to fall sick during last few weeks of the school term? 

Activated my first MC of the year today… with fever and sore throat.
Seriously, for a moment I was so afraid the fever is caused by the impact on my back. 

Actually it started last Friday after our school excursion to Marine Life Park (beautiful place), may be due to tiredness and lack of water, I had a bad headache and was feeling feverish. 

The feverish didn't really go off on Saturday, despite of the early rest I had but still I went ahead to attend friends' wedding and service before I headed home to rest.

Was ok on Sunday.
Likewise for Monday morning but in the afternoon, I just felt feverish and my temperature showed I'm running slight fever. 

But thank God with rest and medication, I felt much better. 

once bitten twice shy

Fully understand this idiom after an incident on Sunday.

At the last stop during JAMs fetching, as usually, I went down to carry Little M who was on his wheelchair.
Was stretched a little but I still managed to lift him off his wheelchair.

Unlike the past few times where our driver will stop his bus very near to the bus-stop where Little M and his granny will board, this time he happened to stop a distance away.
Hence the step I got to take increased, from bus stop ground, it became road-floor up to bus so with the height increased = more strength

And the nightmare that I always fear the most HAPPENED!
I lost my strength while going up the first step and there… I fell on the bus stairs, with Little M still in my hands.

At the point of time, more than worrying about the pain on my leg and thigh, I was more worried “what if I don’t have strength to pick ourselves up?!” And of course to make sure I cling on Little M and not let him go. 
 
Thank God with the use of ALL my energy, I picked myself up and placed him on the bus seat.
Whew~~~ Thank God he didn't hurt himself. 

With this fall, I found three bruises on my leg and worse of all, my lower back hurt. Friends suggested going to Chinese physician but seriously, I was afraid so decided to monitor and rest first.

After consulting a friend-therapist and looking through website, felt it was ok to monitor first and may not be a serious problem unless… …

And for the next two days, I put on “salonpas” and was very cautious in my movements and sleeping posture etc. I also refrained myself from carrying heavy stuff. 
Thank God the pain went off, just left a little "sour sour" feeling.

Little M seriously has gained a lot of weight. 
Unlike probably some others, Little M totally has no strength on his legs, that's why he cant walk even with support but need to be fully carried. 
Because of this, I'm so fearful if I ever let go him and he fall totally.

With all these in mind and the fear of making worse to my back, spoken to Pst to go ahead with Plan B. 
Till I find myself a male helper, this got to be the best arrangement. 
Personally, I really dont dare to carry him anymore. 

-_-    

B... Birthday

WARNING!!!!!
Long and negative post! Read at your own risk!

What is birthday to you?

To me, it is a time to make the star feels so blessed and loved. 

From Yanjie, I learned to be excellence in my gift-giving.
And Team8Leader ever mentioned about how her perspective of birthday changed with the many celebrations we had then during SOT, especially after Teammate XB’s?

Organizing a birthday started being a joy as I get to play a part in making the star’s birthday memorable but lately I find it tough.

The last (and literally LAST) birthday I organized was my leader’s.
From a zone-affair, it became a ministry-thingy thus the group size double. But thank God I only had to focus on my zone while others took care of cg and zones.

Way before...
Started a chat with some “seniors“ in the zone to decide who want to take the honor to organize. No response and one commented to let the “young ones” do it. Of course I would love to but with the response from appreciation then, I thought “hmm.. forget it”.

The chat went silent for few days.
That was when there were not many days to the celebration day so then I decided… I will do it!
To me, is the birthday of our beloved leader, I don’t wish that at the end of the day, no plan or no celebration.

Immediately date the birthday girl which I did a week ago.
Next to choose a place, that can take our big group and with affordable prices. Decided to go back to one we went few months ago as the food not bad and not ex but most importantly, sufficient space.

The “vomit blood” part was that the birthday girl didn’t say anything but others... “Oh! We are going there again!?” or “Your zone really like coming here hor!?” or “How come back here again?!”
In my heart I was thinking, “Thanks ah! Where were you when I asked to give suggestion of makan place?”
Ahhhhhh!!! Seriously I am not asking for a “thank you!” or “good choice!” but maybe just keep quiet?

RSVP… for this, I think I committed “murder” many timessssssss!
But thank God for Friend M who I get to shoot all anger and unhappiness, I sent her the messages I received and vice versa. Opps!
We “scolded”, “fired”, nagged and laughed over together. 

Appreciate those who replied promptly and stayed through.

The reason why we were so “strict” in RSVP obviously due to our big group, 20+ people. They cant expect me to make reservation a day or hours before the event or just add chairs as if I own the restaurant?
Though based on the way they RSVP, it seems like.

There were those who don’t reply AT ALL.. despite message addressed to their name. 

Those who replied “yes” then few days before event said “no” then a day before asked for details (which I sent don’t-know-how-many-times) and said “maybe” and just hours before the event replied “no”. 
Classic!

Those who replied after the “closing date”.
Those who replied coming but didn’t turn up.
Those who replied 2hrs before event that overlooked message and forgot to reply. -_-

Those who replied “yes” at the very last minute when you already called the restaurtant don’t-know-how-many-times.

And those who replied and suddenly "surprised" us with their partner in attendance. -_-
They must be thinking I own the makan place.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Was telling Friend M that I almost wanted to place name tag on the chairs so no RSVP on time = no chair.
Friend N agreed too and later mentioned that though I said so, I will not do it. What to do? Don’t want things to turn bad.

With the organizing of this birthday, I hereby declare that… I am going to “resign”!!!
Haha! This shall be my last!

Still, no matter what happen… it shall and will not change my view on birthday. Just that I gotta manage my expectation? 

Practice - 1

I have a little practice that if the previous year I took the graduating classes then I will find time in the present year to check on the little ones in primary school.

The bond I had with the parents in xSs was stronger thus I feel comfortable messaging them using my own phone. This year I sent more parents, almost the whole class. 

Definitely brought lots of joy and pride to me, knowing that all of them are doing well, very well. 
Happy! Many friends!
Class monitress! Group leader!
Bought food during recess time!
Full marks at spelling! Top 10 for arts! 

(Child SY's mum)
Hi Ms Lim, everything is fine and PTL, she adapted very well.

Thks so much, it's so blessed to have teachers like you cheering for the girls. May God's blessing continue to pour into ur life, and His love, patience, Grace, Joy and wisdom be with you now and ever!

(Child DN)
Hi Ms Lim, pri sch is good. I like to buy food during recess. S is in the same class as me. My teacher jokes with us. How r u?

I love you

(Child CS’ mum)
Hi Miss Lim, how are you? I hope you are well. CS likes school. Settling in well. he can buy food, sort out his spelling & hmk independently. Must be the good foundation he learnt in LSK!

Thank you Miss Lim! CS will be so excited to know. Take care Miss Lim. Have a blessed 2013!

(Child JY’s mum)
Hi Ms Lim, so nice of u to ask. We put him in student care during morning n afternoon he attends his school. Somehow we felt he still feel insecure as he have to wear jacket to school everyday like he used to when he was in nursery days. Other than that he adapt his school routine quite well. Primary school is definitely a big change for him as the teachers stress a lot on academic studies even though just the beginning. We are glad LSK has provided him a loving environment and given him a good foundation for his pri sch. He misses LSK and if time permits, he will drop by one day. Hope everything is well for you.

(Child HC’s mum)
Thanks Miss Lim. HC is doing ok. She managed to get full marks for her spelling, and is able to buy food on her own. I'll be meeting her form teacher this Sat to get more info.
Thanks for thinking of her.

(Child JT)
Miss Lim school is good!!!

Thank you Miss Lim.
 
(Child LH’s mum)
Hi Ms Lim, thanks for your text N concern. LH is doing fine in school. He has no pbm adjusting and is able to take care of himself very well. His only gripe is having to wake up early every morning, otherwise he is well. Was made the group leader and form teacher told me he is chatty but ok. Lol. I must thank lsk for preparing them well for p1 esp for recess.

This is taken first day of sch w p4 buddy. Thanks again and I will inform LH u asked abt him. Happy new year!

(Child ZT’s mum)
ZT so far so good. Thank you for your concern and caring. I will bring her back to lsk when she is free. Hereby we wish u a happy new year!

(Child JT and mum) 
Hi! Miss Lim, this is JT. I have another from LSK in my class. His name is R. My new teacher is a Malay. I am happy in my school.

Hello!!! Glad to hear fr u Miss Lim. JT was asking me last wk if she could go back to lsk for visit. Told her yes, but have to wait. Anyway, she is doing ok in her pri sch. Just slim down quite a bit. Because got to buy her own food. Got lots of friends. R from Gloryland is also in her class. Both became buddy since orientation. God even sent a new bus number 50 near our Blk to bring her to outside  her sch. Still adjusting to the new timing. Not enough time after school for fun and homework. Rushing everyday. But overall , she is doing ok. Thank you for dropping by. Really appreciate it.

(Child CH’s mum)
Hi Miss Lim, she is ok. Just more tired than last time but she still doesn't want to try buying food from canteen. Thanks for your concern!

(Child BG’s mum)
谢谢你! BG还好! 只是还是一样注意力不聚中. 他还经常想念你们! 哈哈!

是的, 我有和他的老师沟通这点! 非常感谢你们! 你们真的是非常有爱心和责任感的好老师! 我和家人真心的谢谢你们! 

(Child JT's mum)
JT 去小学还不错, 蛮开心, 还遇到LSK 的同学, 谢谢你的关心.

JT said "I love you."

(Child GL’s mum)
Hello Ms Lim!! GL is still learning to cope with a long day and she's asleep now! She made many new friends, improved in eng, but trying hard to learn her hanyu pinyin and math concepts. Nice to hear firm you!! Will visit you when we get the chance.. she misses her happy days at lsk!! 

(Child GT's mum) 
Hi Ms Lim nice to hear fm u. GT is adapting well in.school. Is d long hours she hasn't get use to it. Hope u r well? She missss LSK alot.

(Child JL's mum)
Oh hi Ms Lim!
JL is slowly getting use to the timing.. often lost his things in school.. haha.. thinner now,  maybe because have to wake up v early.. still having some trouble with remembering his spelling. 

Practice - 2

(Child JG’s mum)
Dear Ms Lim, thank you for guidance in LSK and the rest of school teachers and Mrs Tan who had taught and guided Jasper. He has been an excellent boy today on his first day of school. We just want to show our appreciation to all teachers in LSK, especially Mrs Tan, Ms H Chua, 蔡老师, Mrs A Chua, Mrs T Goh, 沈老师, yourself and 张老师. Kindly assist to send my regards to them. I'm sending you with a picture of Jasper. Happy new year!

He just read my message and your reply Ms Lim. This will also let him be aware of his past and where he graduated from, always giving thanks. He misses LSK a lot.

Oh the school is missing a great teacher with your break. Sure JG will definitely be back to support.

(Child SC’s mum)
She is doing fine.
But she keeping say she prefer LSK more.

She misses you.
She compare u with her present teacher and she keep saying Ms Lim dun do that.

Tat y she went back to look for u.
Its so sweet if u to remember her n check on her. 

(Child ML’s mum)
She is doing well at pri sch. Only bit tiring for her cos of the long sch hours. U still in lsk? Cos her bro told her that he dun see u ard in lsk this year and when she heard it, she is a bit sad cos she keeps talking abt going back lsk then can see miss Lim..

Thanks for your thoughtfulness and concern for her! All the best for your future undertakings
 
(Child GQ and mum)
Hi Ms Lim! How nice of u to ask. Was thinking of dropping u a note some weeks ago. GQ first few days said he hated school. Coz teachers v strict n not like LSK teachers so loving n nice.

Sorry he hijacked my phone last nite. Was v excited to hear fr u so asked if can text u.
Yes he's settling down nicely now. Loves his English teacher (gives rewards) but dislikes Chinese (fierce). Haha.
 
(Child SW's mum)
Hi Miss Lim, SW is good! He is adjusting well in P1. Finally! Bcox he was lost in d sch on first day of sch. Traumatized abit n took a while to overcome the fear!! Thank God n he is settling down now. Tks for yr concern n care, Miss Lim!

Tks alot Mrs Lim! I hv told him tht. He shows me the shy smile.
 
(Child EL’s mum)
Hi Miss Lim, sorry for late reply. Thanks for asking! She's still adjusting to the timing etc. But doing ok. She said tt she misses lsk a lot. We walk home w SC now and she said the same thing!

(Child N's mum)
Hi Miss Lim. N is doing fine in P1. Learning to cope with the changes. But she now n then mentions that she missed LSK. Thk u for asking.

(Child NK’s dad)
Hi Ms Lim, thanks for asking and your concern. He's coping well but is still adapting to the long hours. He's very tired by the time he finish school.

(Child CP and mum)
Dear Ms Lim, it's a wonderful and very thoughtful SMS from you. CP is blessed to have been your student. Yes, Pri School is quite a challenge for him. He has some unhappy days where he came back feeling very dejected and refusing to go school next day and told us that some kids had actually made bad remarks about him. CP is quite introverted and still lacking in interaction skills. We really need to encourage him quite a bit. Hmmm.,,I will show him your SMS tomorrow morning and I m sure he will be highly motivated, he had mentioned your name quite some time. I think he misses you and his old LSK days still. Thank you so much again for taking the interest in CP still. We appreciate that!Thank you! Our best wishes to you for a wonderful school year too!

Thank you Miss Lim, I am fine! Have a nice day Miss Lim from CP
 
(Child LP’s mum)
Miss Tan, thank you for ur concern. Much appreciated. He had some hard time to adapt in the first 2 weeks. Now, he is enjoying his time in school.

(Child EN’s mum)
Hi Miss Lim, nice to hear from you. EN is adapting well. She is in afternoon session. Her first day of school, she thought to follow her younger sister to LSK and mentioned that she wants to visit LSK and Miss Lim. She do miss LSK teachers, former classmates and her school bus friends. Maybe she can join her sister for the June Camp in LSK. Thanks and Happy 2013 to you!

(Child SL’s mum)
Hi Miss Lim, nice to hear fm u. She is doing well in school. Enjoy new friends n was appointed as monitoress for ts term.
 
(Child AC’s mum)
Dear Ms Lim, thank u so much 4 asking. She misses u n LSK terribly. So far she is adjusting well in primary school n even got top 10 in Arts in class. Thank u Ms Lim bless u for being such a caring teacher!

(Child PD’s mum)
Great day Miss Lim, it's so nice to hear from you! Paul is very happy in primary school. He is adjusting well in school. His brother has been his buddy since day 1 and taking care of his needs during recess. God is good! PD said that he misses you very much.

(Child CC’s mum)
She is coping although at times keep complaining about the school hours, saying she wants to go back to lsk. As usual teacher complain about her messy handwriting. So we need to continue to work on that.

this that, that this

I was welcomed to this when I first stepped into the classroom that I will be in for 2013...

A little shocked. 
I was quite surprised that there's actually nothing much left behind from 2012. As it was just days away to the first school day of 2013, I only had very little time thus I was still hoping to use 2012 stuffs temporary.

I managed to get through the first day and the second day with the school resources like charts etc.

Typed. Printed. Cut. Laminated. Cut. Adjusted. Pasted.  
Did at home. Did in school. 
May not be the nicest but I thank God that I managed to come out with all these within one week, all single-handedly and from scratch.

 

Even in the midst of all these, I was working on the children's admin, the curriculum, the lesson plan, the worksheet etc. 

Thank God for His grace and the "experiences" I gained from the different kindergartens I been to. 

Passive

Despite many telling me that I should find a job then quit, I wasn’t afraid when I didn’t. Thank God! The concern of others didn’t happen, I wasn’t for a while jobless.

With the help of my ex-colleague, I got hold of the contact of Principal Mrs C of B Kindergarten.

I didn’t call immediately. Then, I just wanted to enjoy/rest during my holiday. Seriously I was rather passive in searching for a job.

Not long after, I received calls/messages from the Principal Mrs C. 
Interview made.
I went for the first casual interview as she just wanted me to take a look at the school environment and for her to take a look at me cause as she felt ok about me through our phone conversation.

An “interesting” interview.
Due to some paper thingy and as she got to double confirm with the Big Boss, she couldn’t confirm about employing me though she very much wanted to. I was left to check certain stuff with my previous kindergarten while she check with her Big Boss.

A week later when she was back from overseas, she called/messaged. 
I was still passive then. Opps! 
She was "aggressive". Haha! Think she seriously needed a teacher. 
Seriously then I wasn’t sure about it but just responded like “for the sake of it”.

She informed me that she had the Big Boss' approval and that I'm being employed. Further arrangement will be made to meet Big Boss etc.

I was asked to start work immediately, as to get my classroom ready. 
I went. It was the last day of 2012, just days before school reopens. 
I did whatever I can, mainly the important ones first. 

Throughout this process, I find Principal Mrs C super duper keen and want to employ me, this explained all the intense calls/msgs,
Reasons being? 

I from xSx.
xSx is a pretty well-known kindergarten in this field and to Principal Mrs C, she feels that teachers who come from there are thumbs-up. Also cause she visited xSx before and loves the practices etc so she was hoping I can bring some over. 

I tasted the accreditation.
B Kindergarten intends to go for theirs this year so she is very happy to have me around to give input etc.

All in all, cause I from xSx. 

I do not know what lies ahead but one thing for sure - I'm grateful to God for watching over me.

A Twist

The last school day of 2012 not just marked the end of academic year but also the end of my teaching days in xSx.

My official last days with xSx was during the two weeks where teachers were required to go back to pack/clear stuff from 2012 and to pack/prepare stuff for 2013.
After I done my part to clear my things and getting my classroom ready for the handover, I helped with the school resource and also some admin work.

My last day with them also happened be on their staff bonding dinner so I thank God I ended and left on a high note.
I’m glad that even till today, I’m still in close contact with Principal Tan and colleagues. And somehow a little yet to accept the fact the I’m not a teacher in xSx already.

This is something that surprised the friends I shared with - I actually didn’t submit resignation letter. Seriously I didn’t even prepare in the first place cause somehow I know Principal Tan will not accept.

She doesn’t want to take this as “resignation” but rather on “sabbatical leave”. Putting all the offers and extend she went to keep me, she actually still placed me on the payroll for the month of Dec and even make sure I got my bonus.

That is why “shouldn’t have quit before you find one if not income will stop” or “you should quit only when you get your bonus if not wasted” have never been my concern.
Somehow I just have the faith in Principal Tan that not only she wont shortchange me but she will fight for me even if anyone in management object. 

She is really very kind. She also offered me “part-time job” that if I cant find a job when school starts, Im always welcome back at xSx and work till I find one.

This is something I didn’t really share too.
MxE will be setting up their very own preschools in the years to come, gonna be a big thing in this industry!
And I actually went for the interview.
It was in the newspaper and think it attracted many. Also heard as requirements were higher and stricter, not many actually pass the 1st and get on to the 2nd interview.

I went for the first interview, not a formal one though as actually the closing date for entire process had been over. And not just that, I actually succeeded the first and was told to get ready for the second.

Reason for me to still get interview despite being closed and for everything to run well?
All cause of the recommendation of Principal Tan who even drove and accompanied me to the interview.

She had offers and plans but no doubts she also concerns and all.
But all in all, I actually gave up the offer in the end.

Ever since my departure from xSs, I have been receiving msgs from Principal Tan, Vice-Principal OL, my mentor Mrs O and Z Laoshi. They will check on me and to ask how am I coping. They reminded me that if I cant adapt, I can always come back to xSx.

Principal Tan msged me a lot, especially during first week of school - to check on me, to ask how’s my new school, how’s new principal, how’s colleagues, how’s children etc.
There will also be days where she will msg me to let me know I’m remembered by her or I was in her prayer that morning

From the offers and means to keep me in xSx… From the Dec pay to bonus… From recommendating me for interview… From msges after msges… 
I’m totally overwhelmed by her love.
So touched by the many love gestures of Principal Tan. 

Not forgetting my other colleagues. 
(hehe! still refused to use "ex-colleagues")
I’m loved. I'm blessed.
 

to stay or to leave

Decision was probably made official in last Nov and “battle of mind” started even earlier. 
But I have been controlling for the longest time and finally I can make known and blog it down, this unforgettable journey.

Beside my colleagues, I didn't share with anyone else.. not my parents (till the very last minute), not my leaders who I feel safe to share with or not even to Em who I feel comfortable in sharing.
Probably I just wasn't ready for the "Why?", the "How?", the "When?" 
  
Seriously the “cannot tell anyone”, the “not ready to share” were bad. Just felt terrible going through alone, especially on days where I left school in teary eyes or where thoughts flooded my mind.
Still I thank God for being with me, for watching over me! 

The whole journey had been verrrrrrry emotionally and mentally draining.
I first started sharing in parable in “Tough Weeks” entry.

Out of the kindergartens I been to, being in xSx has been the best - the Principal, the colleagues, the children, the environment and the culture. 
No doubt it is a busy, very busy kindergarten but it had been one where I’m being exposed to many things and even had experiences of peer sharing with teachers and principals from other kindergartens.
It had been a place where my mind challenged, faith tested and commitment stretched.

But there was a season in my life last year where I felt tired, very tired.
Not just physical I guess. Due to school? Due to church commitment?

Just school alone, I felt the heaviness of work.
The expectations? The work load? The demands?
The visitation? The spiritual “requirement”? 

Not wanting to drag down the team which is always going forward strong, and apparently will be stronger for the next two years and in preparation due to Spark - I started to think whether should I stay on. Should I commit another year? Will I be able to run without complaining?

It was a major mental battle as is not easy leaving.
But after much consideration, I decided to leave or at least treat it as a break. I made know my decision and shared with Principal Tan my fears and my worries.
She didn’t accept and she was very nice, she gave me many offers like taking just PN form class so work load and visitation will be lesser.

To cut the looooooooooong story short, MANY things happened along the way. Good encounters, doubts, bad incidents, break down, misunderstandings, doubt cleared, misunderstanding cleared, stronger bond established etc.

In conclusion, my decision was final - to leave xSx.
It had never been an easy decision and even till now, I will still think to myself whether did I make the right decision.

And that was also when the mental and emotional battles started.
There were days I cried in the Principal office, day I broke down in front of my mentor and Laoshi (it was their first time seeing me that way) and not forgetting days walking out of the school with teary eyes.

Whether it was the process or the decision made, it was never easy.

To be continued... 
ps: dont worry for me, the fact that I'm blogging means I'm ok or at least getting better =)